Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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