I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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