Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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