did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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