So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
