Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It was like giving head to a cactus.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Randomize