Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
3 2 1 whiskey
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Success! We fucked roommates!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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