all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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