he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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