everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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