Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
