i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
