I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
