ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
