Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
