the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
