When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
