Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
