Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
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You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
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I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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