the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
