My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
