The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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