Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
