Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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