i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
