You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
