I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
