This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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