I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize