I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
