I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
