i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Sorry about my life...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
