Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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