can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
