quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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