Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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