I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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