How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It's blow job season.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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