Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
