You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
