just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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