What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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