I am in a vortex of obligation.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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