things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
