Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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