It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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