just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
