I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
