If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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