Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
