You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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