I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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