Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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