So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
