Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
