You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
