Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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